Learning to Ask for Help

Photo by J W on Unsplash

How often in your days or weeks do you support and help other people? Many of us believe that it’s our job, whether in our role as a servant-leader in corporate management or as a coach / consultant who is paid to help others.

How often do you ask someone else for help?

This is the far more difficult step. We want to appear as self-sufficient, seemly-confident leaders who have all our shit together. Asking for help can feel weak or that we’re an imposition on others. But what if practicing asking for help is the power move of leadership? This might be especially good to practice if asking for help is an atypical pattern for you.

I’m sharing three tips to remember. Thinking about them may make it easier for you to practice asking for help.

1. It feels good to be helpful

The first tip is to start with empathy. Asking for help can feel icky. To shift your mindset, think about a time when someone asked you for help AND it felt good.

Have you ever been asked by a former coworker to make an introduction to someone else you knew on LinkedIn? If it was serendipitous enough that you *actually* knew them both well and thought that they would get along, you likely made the introduction. My guess is that it felt good to connect two people.

Similarly, if it’s easy enough to help someone else, it feels good to say yes and to support their work / goals / passions with a small gesture.

Remember that feeling, that it feels good to be helpful.

So if you’re on the other side, perhaps you’re offering up a gift by giving the other person an opportunity to feel good.

2. People are busy; make it easy

But, but, but… you say. Sometimes it feels terrible when someone asks you for help, and you’re too busy, and you forget about it and feel bad. You end up completely ghosting them. And feel guilty about it.

It’s okay, we’ve all been there.

The reality is that people are busy. If you’re asking someone for help, make it easy for them. Many clients I work with struggle with networking. They may want to stay in touch with former coworkers or want to reach out to folks…