How to Recognize and Avoid Drama

Tutti Taygerly
5 min readApr 7, 2022
Person wearing a full face white plaster mask holds 2 hands to their head
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

The best manager I ever had gave me this feedback in my performance review:

“The theme of occasional unnecessary drama is one that came through in your feedback that resonates... You have an amazing resilience that I’ve seen in action. Using this to provide stability to situations will help you apply the truth that things are almost never as amazing or terrible as they first appear.”

The caring response followed by specific examples prompted me to want to change and helped me become hyper-aware of any signs of drama. This is true for me at work especially during stressful times dealing with the unknown or pushing towards a deadline. It’s also true at home where my teen daughters call me on my sighing and dramatic first reactions to a TV show or something they did.

In the workplace, we do want to avoid unnecessary drama and conflict. I’ve recently been teaching corporate clients how to apply restorative justice practices in the workplace with my colleague Jim Herman. One tool that has proved invaluable both for reducing drama and increasing leadership responsibility is Karpman Drama Triangle, developed in the 60s by psychologist Stephen Karpman. I use this for my clients and for myself, both at work and home.

The Drama Triangle



Tutti Taygerly

Leadership coach & champion of difficult people; designer of human experiences; ex-Facebook; surfer, traveller, mom;