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Focus on What’s Right, Not What’s Wrong
I have a tendency to look for what’s wrong, to play devil’s advocate, and to contingency plan all the possible ways things can go wrong. Sometimes this can be a good trait for a planner, and it’s fantastic in a crisis-management situation. However, as a leader, only looking for what’s wrong can be hugely deflating to your teams.
Through most of my career, when I heard someone else’s idea, my first instinct was to put on the skeptical hat and ask many detailed questions. I sought to understand, and perhaps also to shoot it down and find out why the idea didn’t work. That first blunt reaction to an idea could really turn people off and destroy their confidence, especially if it had been difficult for them to present the idea in the first place. We’ve all known people in meetings who always respond to our contributions with a rebuttal. It’s not pleasant to be around them. Gradually over the years, I learned to replace the interrogation with (hopefully) a more curious inquiry. I could accept the brilliance of the idea first and then build it up with questions and together co-create a new version of the idea. I was learning to adjust and build relationships with people rather focusing on what’s wrong.
