Bees flying into a hive
Bees flying into a hive
Photo by Damien TUPINIER on Unsplash

Many high-achieving professionals in tech at some point in their career find that their work has become their identity. In certain years, this can be a really good thing. Having the drive and capacity to pour all your energy into a professional endeavor is what powers innovation from both startups and larger tech companies. Yet, the danger zone of this is when life feels imbalanced. This imbalance happens when your work is your only identity and when things aren’t going well, especially in times of transition or stress. As we approach the one-year mark of the pandemic, we’ve seen the…


Handwritten sign on a wood tag amidst a cluster of wooden tags: We have been dying since We got here and forgot to enjoy the view. live fully.
Handwritten sign on a wood tag amidst a cluster of wooden tags: We have been dying since We got here and forgot to enjoy the view. live fully.
Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash

“Don’t be silly all women have imposter syndrome.”

A male coach had offered to help one of my clients with her imposter syndrome and when she told him that she thought her problem was possibly the opposite, he cut her off with those words.

This story made my blood boil. I’ve long had issue with the term imposter syndrome. I wrote in From Imposter Syndrome to Pioneer Syndrome:

Perhaps imposter syndrome isn’t a bad thing. If you’re feeling a little bit intimidated and out of your element, it’s likely a sign that you’re playing in the big leagues. You don’t…


Sleeping red fox on a wood plank with lush trees in the background
Sleeping red fox on a wood plank with lush trees in the background
Photo by Derek Liang on Unsplash

I used to work out regularly with a personal trainer, Cam. This was when we still had in-person gyms and the camaraderie of sweating and grunting together. I got a personal trainer to keep me more accountable and to help me with the mechanics of strength training. As I aged, I wanted to build functional muscle strength in my entire body and particularly get stronger in my upper body to build up paddle power for surfing. I didn’t care how much I lifted or achieving personal record (PR) numbers. Or so I thought. It turns out that I’m pretty competitive…


Groups of penguins together in South Georgia against mountainous backdrops and pink clouded sky
Groups of penguins together in South Georgia against mountainous backdrops and pink clouded sky
Photo by Ian Parker on Unsplash

The term “leader” can be problematic. Some of us hear the word a lot but we don’t necessarily know what it means. As a leadership coach, I help people find their strengths and unique voice to perform better at work, develop stronger relationships, and amplify their growth + impact at the organization. Yet I also hear from many people that they’re not leaders because:

  • I don’t manage people. I’m not the boss.
  • I do manage people, but I’m not good at it.
  • I don’t have the skills or training to be a good leader.

One of the most important parts…


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Joshua Reddekopp on Unsplash

Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Continually stressed. Running on fumes. Maxed out. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach starting on Sunday afternoon, knowing that your work is piling up for Monday and the week to come.

These feelings aren’t uncommon. We all can have off-days or off-weeks—those occasional periods of stress or pushing to meeting a high-pressure deadline. We may be dealing with family stress, grief, or illnesses. The slippery slope towards burnout is when these feelings start to become the norm; when they persist over weeks, months, or years. …


Wooden sign on a wood post saying “DEAD END”
Wooden sign on a wood post saying “DEAD END”
Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash

I tend to be a person who is sure of things. I’m certain of many things— what people I like to be around, what I like to eat, where I like to travel, and what I want to do with my time. I am the queen of certainty. This certainty has served me well and led me to success. I live in the United States, in San Francisco, and have worked in technology in Silicon Valley for most of my professional life. We are a culture that values visions, plans, decisive action, and consistent follow-through. But at what cost?

My…


person shooting colorful confetti up against a blue sky
person shooting colorful confetti up against a blue sky
Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

One of the most stressful and time-intensive periods of my Facebook tenure was the performance review cycles that happened every 6 months. I’d spent decades working at startups and design firms with erratic approaches to giving feedback; so despite the mental impact, I remain grateful for a formal, if flawed system of performance reviews.

Performance reviews are inherently nerve-wracking. In theory, you should be aligned with your manager and already have a good sense of how you’re doing. This should happen through regular feedback and 1-on-1 conversations. Yet in practice, even the best managers and organizations get distracted with the…


Telescope pointing out over a cityscape with a beautiful pink tinge of sky
Telescope pointing out over a cityscape with a beautiful pink tinge of sky
Photo by Matthew Ansley on Unsplash

When we get negative feedback at work, there can be a first moment of resistance, a recoil against the feedback:

  • “That’s not me. That’s not who I am.”
  • “I can’t lead like that.”
  • “It doesn’t feel authentic.”
  • “I don’t have the [confidence/wisdom/courage/voice/xxx] to be like that.”

Through the years, I’ve worked with many people who have been seeking that perfect leadership style, aura, or presence. In the corporate world, where we’re used to seeing specific descriptions of performance metrics, job expectations, and clear behaviors to attain, it can be really frustrating to get feedback that our leadership style isn’t right…


outline of a black tree against blue/purple/pink sunset sky
outline of a black tree against blue/purple/pink sunset sky
Photo by Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash

It’s the first work week of 2021 and for some of us it’s a rough transition time back from a period of holiday celebrations followed by rest and relaxation. Transitions are tricky. Our bodies and minds get into particular rhythms of being—what we eat, when we wake up and go to sleep, and the movement patterns of being free from a desk+computer— and it’s hard to change these habits.

Another transition is the hope of leaving the chaos of 2020 behind and approaching the new year of 2021. Yet many of us are also sick of that phrase “the new…


North star with me in center surrounded by axis of Projects, People, Community on a backround of northen lights
North star with me in center surrounded by axis of Projects, People, Community on a backround of northen lights
North Star framework of leadership

2020 was not what anyone expected. It’s a historic year that will be remembered through our lifetime. Moving into the new year of 2021 is a quirk of human calendars, and yet there’s something magical about passing the milestone and getting a fresh start.

We’re all familiar with New Year’s Resolutions and how they typically end in a dumpster fire by the end of January. Yet without dreaming and wishing for something different, we end up stuck in default modes, repeating old patterns, and continuing to tread the well-worn grooves of our lives.

This article outlines about a leadership framework…

Tutti Taygerly

Leadership coach & champion of difficult people; designer of human experiences; ex-Facebook; surfer, traveller, mom; tuttitaygerly.com

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