Celebration scene with pink donu, confetti and party blowers
Celebration scene with pink donu, confetti and party blowers
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

I have a tendency to look for what’s wrong, to play devil’s advocate, and to contingency plan all the possible ways things can go wrong. Sometimes this can be a good trait for a planner, and it’s fantastic in a crisis-management situation. However, as a leader, only looking for what’s wrong can be hugely deflating to your teams.

Through most of my career, when I heard someone else’s idea, my first instinct was to put on the skeptical hat and ask many detailed questions. I sought to understand, and perhaps also to shoot it down and find out why the…


Photo by Artur Łuczka on Unsplash

This week I’ve had the pleasure of supporting three female leaders, two of them women of color, through the final hurdle of their interview process—the dreaded offer negotiation.

I spent many of my formative years in Asia where bartering—either at the market for cute bangles or with the police officer to let you off with a warning and a small ”tip”—was simply a fact of life. I took these skills into the corporate world, and embodying an authoritative, masculine style of leadership, have always negotiated my job offers. I’ve been lucky enough to work in technology; I fully recognize that…


Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash

Do you remember the last time you interviewed for a job? Most people put this off as long as possible. It takes a lot of work to put together a resume, start looking around for opportunities, and then going through the actual process. Most people wait until it’s absolutely necessary. When the situation means that you MUST now start looking for and move into a new job. Perhaps you got passed over for that promotion or raise. Perhaps you’ve moving to a different location. Perhaps your boss has broken your trust one too many times. Perhaps you’ve just been given…


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

In tech companies and startups, we’ve heard about and practice modern leadership with radical candor, transparency, and vulnerability. We want to bring our whole selves to work and be an authentic leader. We want to do this while delivering on impact and performance to the company.

But does being transparent and vulnerable work all the time? How much is too much? What if the company isn’t set up with the right performance incentives to enable authenticity? What if the company has set up a system of cross-org competition that rewards aggressive behavior? …


Torn poster on a green wall saying: Change is coming. whether your like it or not!
Torn poster on a green wall saying: Change is coming. whether your like it or not!
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

So you think you want a change. There’s something you want to be different in your life. Perhaps your CEO friend got her own executive coach. Perhaps you’ve been wondering if there’s something you can do to work on some of your growth feedback. Perhaps you’d like to be a better leader and figure out the secrets that everyone else seems to know.

Most of my clients have never worked with a coach before. They’re typically in the technology and/or creative fields given my design background. People seek out coaching because they want something to be different in their lives…


Woman in mid-air jumping between two cliffs
Woman in mid-air jumping between two cliffs
Photo by Sammie Chaffin on Unsplash

What causes you fear?

For many people in a professional setting, there’s a fear of public speaking and expressing your opinion. It can be on a large stage, perhaps TEDx in front of tens of thousands of people, fully mic-ed and camera-ready. It can be in a leadership meeting where you feel like you don’t quite belong, yet you have something to say. You see that something isn’t right in the work being presented, or the consensus of sameness in the room and you want to speak up and voice your opinion. …


Asian woman holding up a wire heart with bright blobs of light behind her and lights in the darkness in the background
Asian woman holding up a wire heart with bright blobs of light behind her and lights in the darkness in the background
Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

I am a Thai woman, of Chinese heritage and a first-generation immigrant. I’ve spent 22 years working in tech before leaving corporate to start my own business coaching and advising leaders in tech. Last year, after the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor amongst many others, I started introspecting about my own role in racism, and remembering the casual racism of my youth. I wrote about my Asian privilege where in the world of Silicon Valley and tech, I’d personally experienced far more sexism than racism. This is when I first encountered the term “model minority,” often used to…


Silhouette of people walking along a ridge with a pink sky behind
Silhouette of people walking along a ridge with a pink sky behind
Photo by Jehyun Sung on Unsplash

I’ve worked with many people through the years both as a design leader in tech and now as a leadership coach. Many people continue to associate leadership with management, believing that you’re only a “real leader” when you have direct reports. This is a common limiting belief that we put on ourselves when we’re individual contributors. And on the other side of the coin, there’s been many years of my life when I’ve been a terrible manager of people. I had zero skills or training on how to lead and that negatively impacted the lives of people reporting to me.


Cute black puppy lying down and mournfully waiting
Cute black puppy lying down and mournfully waiting
Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

We might be waiting to hear back after a fantastic interview for a dream job, a pitch for funding, or that sales meeting that could save the business. We’ve all been there and many of my clients are actively waiting to hear back about something right now.

This isn’t a great place to be, especially not for active, high-performers who are used to springing into action. It feels like everything has been done—all the prep work before the meeting, showing up and presenting yourself well, and the requisite follow-ups afterwards. …


Bees flying into a hive
Bees flying into a hive
Photo by Damien TUPINIER on Unsplash

Many high-achieving professionals in tech at some point in their career find that their work has become their identity. In certain years, this can be a really good thing. Having the drive and capacity to pour all your energy into a professional endeavor is what powers innovation from both startups and larger tech companies. Yet, the danger zone of this is when life feels imbalanced. This imbalance happens when your work is your only identity and when things aren’t going well, especially in times of transition or stress. As we approach the one-year mark of the pandemic, we’ve seen the…

Tutti Taygerly

Leadership coach & champion of difficult people; designer of human experiences; ex-Facebook; surfer, traveller, mom; tuttitaygerly.com

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